PART 1
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List of The thank you chapter :P
1.On 21st May...changing me to become less shy i suppose...I would nvr drive someone out that late somemore alone on the first day of our meeting if u remember...That was the very first time i went and fetch someone whom i have nvr met be4 to go supper...and im alone with no other frens.i am super nervous at that time as I do not know what can we talk about...I am very "nei xiang",dun hv much topic when chat face to face...but well it ended quite well and i thank you for that :D
2. 12th june roughly...Thanks for being my first ever true gf.I might have boast that I have gf be4 this but those are just net gf and they arent real,ur the one that gave me all the experience and let me experience the feeling of being wanted.Although I am quite contented with my life at that time,but u did bring me to a whole new lv of relationship.I never thought that having someone by side is so warm.I love huggings :D
3. Thanks for your time and also your effort.You managed to ask me out a lot of times in fact.I am not the outgoing type,but u did drag me out for movies lots of times and i really enjoyed those times where we watched 2 movies in a row and spending the whole day jz the two of us. U did changed me a lot as I would use excuses to frens and wont go out most of the time but i just cant reject ur invitation that much. and thanks to you,i really had lots of great time watching movie and to keep up to date with the cinema too...
4. Thanks for your consideration on this dull bf. I never had any experience being a bf and so im totally new. and well i am not doing quite a good job as you are the one who keeps coming over instead of me going over...let u do so much walking...haha...i aint romantic or what as well but u still bear with me for so long,i thank you for that.
5. Thanks for ur gift i suppose?the t shirt u got me,i cant wear it comfortably yet...haha..but recently cut down few kgs now manage to wear without feeling too tight..but lose few more kg will really let me fit perfectly ba...haha....thats the only gift i get from u i guess...cant think of others...well...its good enough~
6. This is after getting back to single life...Dunno why u gimme a sudden motivation to lose weight...but i wont lose too much...just lose enough to get to my normal bmi is enough for me.i nvr exercise much,cant expect to lose much also...well thanks anyway :P
7. My life youve changed,i changed alot compared to the Adam u knew before if u really have noticed.And i really appreciate it.I learnt to be brave a bit and also go for things now and then...I might be reluctant sometimes but when its needed,ill get onto it.And yea,i found a new interest in doing part time haha~just to earn extra cash...and its quite fun..i might learn to be more outgoing to join more events as time goes,but slowly...shyness cant just fly away all of sudden.I think im changing to a better person ,well imo.
8.Thanks for bringing me so many happiness although in just such a short term.I learnt to love someone whole heartedly.really thank you.
9. All in all,i jz wanted to thank you for being my gf for 11months+...i aint much and sorry that u need to bear with such a dull guy.arent romantic either to buy u flowers or chocs...altho u still eat my house choc..haha...
10. thanks for all the first time u brought to me...u really bring me to a lots of places with a lot of new experience and i get to learn from u how to be better to own partner.I'll keep that in mind and make myself a better guy.You let me learnt a lot and to think differently a bit...i cant change aall of sudden right?slowly ba...
11. Conclusion of my thanks,thank you for being u and thank you for being there for me.I really enjoyed that moment.Thats all in my thank you posts.well its all over anyway.
Below here is part 2,i will change the font color so if u really feel like reading how i actually feel all these time....feel free to do so,if not,u may just consider this post done.thanks.
PART 2
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These parts will be a bit offending to u i guess,since u alwaz say i nvr accept ur explanation.but this is how i really feel all these times.of cos..the thank you above is all honestly from heart..i really thanked u for that...
Hmm this part might be longer in fact...hahahaha....
Dont read this part if u dunwanna get upset by my thoughts and feelings...
1. lets start from early,what really broke my heart was what u wrote at ur blog but we settled this before so i will not go into it further..it just hurts my pride as someone's else bf.sry that u need to bear with me.
2. when ur in trouble,u didnt actually find me for help instead go for others...if u asked,i might just put aside everything for u.I am who to u actually?i just look like a guy who will only share happiness with u and wont bear ur problems with u?I admit i aint good enough,but u said ur fren is alwaz there by ur side when u need them. did u ever estimate how much i did for u?Did i not care?If im not here,u wont be in kl anymore i guess...
Last time u said i keep give other girls <3 and i stopped,ask back urself did u not did that to other guys?i stopped to initialize sms with any other girls and also in msn...did i do not enough?i only reply when they find me,is it that wrong to have a proper manner to reply others?
3.I hate it when ppl lies and u did that be4...same question,who am i to u?if u explained that to anyone,i dun think anyone would believe it either...typo from "at cc playing" become "home doing ntg"...who am i that u need to lie?
and u said on my bday cook for me,in the end,i still need to eat mamak with u and u treat it like u nvr say before.i hate ppl breaking promises and i told u from the very beginning...Well,correct me if im wrong..i cant remember clearly..but did i ever lie to u?i only remember once and that time im feeling unhappy with what u did although i cant recall....
4. class trip = 1 girl 4 guys .sry but u just say class trip like that,i really cant accept it,im possesive guy and i very easy get jealous.
5. u said i exam time nvr sms u,but my other phone still had record i sms with u...and its during exam...even after cold war,ive been msging u for days..but everytime i start,im the one who replied last as well...u ignored me most of the times,that leads to us breaking up. u said u feel lonely,u go and find other guys to sms with...I am very disappointed,who am i to u actually?u lonely u go find other guy,then what am i?am i just a stranger whom u wan to find then find,dunwan then ignore?is this considered ur bf?i can guarantee whenever there is sms i will reply as soon as i see it unless i fell asleep or out of credit.
6. recent happenings,movie with u even after we break up...but during the movie,u've been pressing phone nonstop.excuse me,u asked for movie and yet u nvr really watch it..and i sit aside like some kind of atm to pay u for ur seats? oh yea...some days ago i said bout ur fren with car right?this pic: http://twitpic.com/5jrr5g ...on the way go wcg?lol...
7. Yea recent happenings again,sms with u...and u said u credited rm5 only seems like u dunwanna sms with me much...well,expected,who am i to u anymore?haha...that day u sms me tell me u miss that time,i also miss,but i cant just say come on...i really cant. I feel totally insecure about u,ur becoming more of a stranger to me day by day...I raelly felt no position within u anymore...same question all over again,who am i to u that u want to do these kind of things to me?and ur recent attitudes like dislike me...
Yea,ive been thinking that we might be able to get back together somehow,but i just cant accept it when i myself lost confidence in myself that i still worth smtg to u.i just cant.well,now u might probably got a new target d,i will take more time to heal,as this is the first time i really think of someone that much,everyday...
you've been giving me hints to chase u back but,i really dunno how i can carry on with so many uncertainties within me...and also the response which are cold and hot at times i really am not sure...ur good,just that i aint that good enough for u.maybe this is the better solution for both of us,u can get more of ur freedom and go get tattoo or go wherever with whoever u want,i cant control.just take care.
well thats about all i wished to tell u,its been inside me for quite some time,just feel like letting them out.if this offense u in anyway,sorry.i cant think of other words.
I just think that i might feel better after thanking u and also expressing my feelings and thoughts all these while.Even if u didnt read part 2,really thanks for coming here and read as my request.
Oh yea and i quit twitter was actually becoz i really got ntg else to do there,opening a tab jz to go twitter will only make my pc lag,i rather get a new phone and use twitter on phone :P
Well,gotta go sleep d,gonna work tmr again...Just thank you for coming and take care wherever ur heading :-)
Regards,
Blues89™
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